What kind of horrible lab was this
Oh you’ve redecorated…
I don’t like it
i acknowledge that this house has had a renovation, but given that it’s a stupid-ass renovation, i’ve elected to ignore it.
Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards.
I wonder if my friends will ever being such jerks
one time my sisters and i were driving around and we saw a mcdonald’s and the m was kind of loose because there was a bunch of wind
and my older sister was like “mel i dare you do go steal that m”
so of course i don’t back down from a dare and i pried the m loose from the sign and we stole that mcdonald’s m and we hung it outside of our house because our last name starts with m and it was clever okay
but the manager of that mcdonalds FOLLOWED US HOME TO OUR HOUSE and they came to our door a few hours later and my mom answered and the manager was like “…it’s peculiar that you have a mcdonald’s m outside of your house when ours got stolen”
and my mom was like “yeah what an odd coincidence”
and the manager came by like the next day and my mom answered again and the manager was like “alright we know what your fucking brat kids did” and my mom was like “my children would nEVER”
and she closed the door on her and she was like “marielle you little shit”
but then we took the m off of our house to throw off the manager and it’s in our garage now
but yeah i stole a big golden arch from mcdonald’s once
so thats why they went out of business
Favorite story posts part 1
That last one
My dad says the ‘making love in a canoe’ about american beer
a muggleborn student gets called a mudblood, so they lick their hand and wipe it on the pureblood’s face, singing “got mud on your face, you big disgrace, somebody better put you back into your place”
all the muggleborns in the vicinity immediately go *STOMP STOMP CLAP* repeatedly gettting closer and closer to the pureblood
and the pureblood’s like “holy shit is this some muggle damning ritual or something AM I GOING TO HELL I’M SORRY”
Even in American restaurants
Anti-honesty hour. Ask me anything and I will respond with blatant lies.
I’m in Sandwich
As in the town in Massachusetts not literal food.