“A scarlet steam engine was waiting next to a platform packed with people. A sign overhead said Hogwarts Express, eleven o’clock. Harry looked behind him and saw a wrought-iron archway where the barrier had been, with the words Platform Nine and Three-Quarters on it.
Smoke from the engine drifted over the heads of the chattering crowd, while cats of every color wound here and there between their legs. Owls hooted to one another in a disgruntled sort of way over the babble and the scraping of heavy trunks.”Happy September 1st, y’all!
am i the only one who rehearses things i might say in advance? and I don’t mean like my theoretical oscars acceptance speech i mean like what i’ll say to the pizza guy when I answer the door in my pjs
raise your hand if you’re tired and sad and wanna make out with a boy
when u have ur music on shuffle and u hear the first note of welcome to the black parade
#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle
this is it.
THIS IS FUCKING IT.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED
THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS
BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.
NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS.
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GODTumblr users should never make infomercials
“mr parker, im here to talk to you about the avenger’s initi-“
“…i’m here to talk to you about the avengers init-“
”.. the avenger’s initiat-“
I love people who make me forget that I’m shy
There was a four year old named Hermione at my work today. It’s started.
it has begun
The Potter generation is growing up.
AND GETTIN’ BIZAY
22 years ago
there’s something really interesting in this passage that I wanted to point out
Trelawney assumes that Harry was born in midwinter because of his “dark hair” and “mean stature” and “tragic losses so young in life”
Tom Riddle was born in midwinter, is describe in CoS as resembling Harry, and his mother died right after his birth
Harry has a piece of Voldemort’s soul in him
that’s why Trelawney made that assumption
TRELAWNY WAS ACTUALLY A GREAT SEER SHE JUST MESSED UP SOMETIMES AND ACTED A LITTLE GOOFY SO NO ONE TOOK HER SERIOUSLY
BECAUSE CLASSICAL ALLUSIONS
For those of you who don’t know your Greek mythology, Cassandra was the daughter of the King and Queen of Troy. Apollo tried to get in her pants by giving her the gift of prophecy and took nice guy douche-bagging to a godly level by cursing her when she turned him down.
The curse? That she would never be believed.
So all of Cassandra’s warnings to the people of Troy fell on deaf ears.
And in case you don’t remember, Trelawny mentions that her great-great-grandmother’s name was … you guessed it… “Cassandra”
i don’t care about what trends men hate. tell me what trends women love. how do i wear my eyeliner so a girl will want to kiss me. what color lipstick makes her think about moving to a cute house on the beach with me and getting 5 dogs. do ladies like peplum dresses and platform heels or not. come on.
how to improve a skirt: add pockets. how to improve a dress: add pockets. how to improve jeans: add pockets. how to improve a cardigan: add pockets. how to improve your acne: add pockets. how to improve your shattered relationships: add pockets